Dinosaurs as Social Farce

Last night, my friends and I went to see Jurassic Parq the Broadway Musical. Which was chosen from the 2010 Fringe Festival in  New York to have a limited extra run at the Lucille Lortel Theater in the West Village. I did not know what to expect going into the show; my prior knowledge was that the people would be portraying the Jurassic Park dinosaurs. I'm glad it was only an hour and a half long because if it was any longer, I would have busted my laugh box. It was funny!

Highlights of the show included: The main male characters singing, "It's a beautiful day to be a woman"( all the dinosaurs in Jurassic park are women). T-Rex 2, played by a woman, growing a penis and having sex with the Dilophosaurus illustrated by a movie of turtles having sex. T-Rex 2 caught in the act with Dilo  by T-Rex 1 and T-Rex 2 saying, "If we don't move, she can't see us." Mime-a-saurus gaving an outstanding performance in general, but at one point, miming a couple meeting, getting married, having a child, the child growing up, the child going to war and dying, the dad drinking and beating the mom, and ultimately the dad shooting a cop within a song. The narrator, a supposed Morgan Freeman, who has a duet with a mirror image of himself but the mirror image turns out to be Samuel L Jackson.

However, one of the best performances came from the Betty White of the cast, an exiled Velociraptor, The Velociraptor of Science. Who's rap about science was a crowd pleaser. The first three letters had meaning attached to them but the best part of the song was the rousing final line, "The rest of the letters spell, suck my dick!" Not only could she break down in a sweet beat, she was the most committed to her raptor persona and had the most realistic raptor walk. I must add that she had on those sketchers that tone your butt and that cracked me up every time. She assumed the Washington crossing the Delaware/Captain Morgan pose many times, further highlighting the shoes.

But the laughs were not all caused by gags like older women singing, "suck my dick," sex scenes and the clone-like similarities between Samuel l Jackson and Morgan Freeman (they also referenced the guy from the Allstate Insurance commercials); they were caused by great writing that dealt with gender, race and the struggle between religion and science. I'll just touch on gender because I don't want the blog to get too long.

Part of the Director's note reads, "Jurassic Parq the Broadway Musical is brilliant [because]... it is the first broadway musical to be gender blind but color conscious."

Gender blind casting led to great situational humor but underneath this humor, it challenged the viewer's conventional understanding of what it means to be a man or woman (female or male dinosaur), much like Churchill's Cloud 9. For all of us who have seen the movie, I don't have to explain that, all the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park are supposed to be female. Therefore, this cast should have been female. But to have a female sing, "It's a beautiful day to be a woman," would not have been funny. Instead it is sung by the most masculine male in the cast (playing a female dinosaur) which made me laugh. But after the show, I started to question it meant to be a woman. Is it solely based on physical appearance? I was  laughing because that's how I usually define a man or woman, but couldn't it be based on psyche and how this person (dinosaur) actually feels? I mean, if I'm being honest with my gay self, as soon as that song hits iTunes, I'll be singing along.

Another instance of gender bending begins when T-Rex 2 grows a penis. Who, as I stated, was played by a woman, grows. Which was funny, but more importantly, brought up the logistics of sex change. We know that she and T-Rex 1 are best friends in the beginning but as soon as the change happens, T-Rex 2 sings a song about still being able to be loved as a friend. I think that a lot of people who go through a sex change question the way their friends will see them after. In the end T-Rex 1 sees T-Rex 2 as more than a friend. In fact she falls in love with T-Rex 2. There are many many funny situations built upon this underlying story, like T-Rex 2 discovering what a vagina smells like and being turned on by it, and T-Rex 1 going on a rampage because she finds T-Rex 2 with Dilo, but underneath it's a positive message about acceptance-her physical being changed, but she was still the same T-Rex 2.

In the end, it's a cute show. Not meant for broadway but hopefully an off-off-broadway house will pick it up. Here's their webpage:
http://www.JurassicParq.blogspot.com/

Smoldering Under the Eyes of God

This is old, from my day working near the Religious Fiction section in the bookstore. I thought if there is Fiction, why can't there be romance?


Gabriel carried me across the bedroom threshold; it was the night of our wedding. I could feel his muscles underneath the tight white dress shirt and when I grabbed my veil, as it slipped off my head, my hand brushed against his forbidden package. Before this night, I felt like Eve as she stared at the forbidden fruit. I dreamed of the day that I would be able to satisfy my own desires and partake the fruit of Gabriel's loins. Today was that day and as he carried me, I felt the lust of my whole body surge toward him. Unlike Eve, I knew that God would not punish me tonight for the pleasure and knowledge that I would receive when I fulfilled my desires and tasted Gabriel’s fruit. We had both waited, devoted our life to God's great word and tonight we were finally sanctified to fulfill our deepest desires.

Gabriel gently set me onto my feet once we were in the room. I suddenly felt cold as he took his arms from me, I only wanted to live in the world of his embrace. But these feelings of comfort moulded to desire as he kissed the back of my neck and started to unzip me from my dress. As my back was exposed, he whispered that our abstinence had brought us that much closer to God. I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck tense at his warm breath and I felt another rush of primal urge surge through my body. I turned to see him slowly unbuttoning his shirt. The muscles in his arms strained at each button and as he took off the shirt it reviled his hidden muscular toned frame. His torso v-ed up from his pants, each ab was defined and his skin fought to hold in his pecs. At that moment he was my ultimate Adam and in a fit of passion I drew him to me and kissed him. This time I did not feel the guiltiness and sin because we had been approved under God and I gave up all resistance to my sexual urges.

Our passion swept through both of our bodies and Gabriel swept me onto the bed. I gasped at the impact of the soft down comforter but my surprise was interrupted by a furry of passionate kissed. He stood up and removed his pants. Again I marveled at his frame. When he stood up his briefs reviled the outline of the fruit that I had most desired, and when he finally lowered himself back on top of me I could feel its pressure against my thigh. I gasped again as he caressed my neck with his supple lips; he whispered that he loved me. The sexual energy radiated from our entwined bodies like a halo. He was my own archangel, so soft but also so powerful. In these moments of passion we quickly removed the rest of our garments. 

For the first time we saw each other in our most pure and naked form. I stared in wonder at the package that had remained hidden from me for so long and that I desired most and he stared back at me with the same lustful eyes. I wondered how Adam and Eve could have been so ashamed by there nakedness; after all, we were all sculpted from the image of God himself. Gabriel was magnificent unclothed and I truly felt the pressure of his masculinity against my thigh as he resumed kissing my neck. I felt my body reel as he hit a particularly sensitive spot on my neck, as I relaxed back down into the bed he asked if I was ready. I knew that I was and I whispered to be gentile. I was not afraid because I felt that God was truly among us at that moment.

Gabriel gently entered; I felt the initial tinge of pain and tensed up but relaxed knowing how beautiful this act was. He sensed my tensed body and asked if I was ok; I reassured him it was with a deep kiss. Only then did he lower, merging us, our pelvises gently brushed each other, and our stomachs gently brushed. Our bodies melted into one in our first act of real passion. I was in ecstasy and I could tell from his face that he was there two. We were like Adam and Eve in the garden before they sinned by eating the fruit, ignorant to knowledge but versed in our animalistic nature. All of God’s creations and promises lay before us. Gabriel was kissing my neck, I was kissing back and the sweat from our bodies eased the transition of hands as we explored the others bodies with our hand. 


And then, it happened. I felt his breath grow heavy and I felt mine grow with his. When I thought that our passion could get no stronger I saw the great light explode from our bodies. It reached beyond the confines of our small hotel room and up to the pearly gates of heaven. They opened before my eyes. I screamed to Jesus and felt Gabriel’s seed explode into my body. He collapsed on top of me with one last kiss. I was absorbed in the Godly light and I stared at heaven. Gabriel lay at my side and as the light gave way to reveal the hotel room leaving the heavenly flame to smolder in my heart, I told him that I loved him. 

Anything Goes

Sometimes I think that a blog has to be life changing, a great inner reflection, or a satiric social commentary, but maybe anything goes. That's a pun. I'm using this post to plug the show I'm currently in rehearsals for, Anything Goes. Here's my doodle from the read through:

We perform Sept 5th, 7th and 8th in Ocean City, NJ at the Music Pier. If you don't know the show, it is a really cute Cole Porter review featuring such hits as You're the Top, I Get a Kick Out of You, and more.  The cast is really wonderful and we perform with the Ocean City Pops, who's sound has Cole porter swooning in his grave. Come see it before it's looming revival on broadway. 

For more information go to:

http://oceancitytheatrecompany.com/default.aspx

Book Club: The Final Chapter

First impressions of a book are fun. Especially about a book like Eat, Pray, Love which has been a best seller ever since it's release, was on Oprah's book club, and is now a movie with Julia Roberts... I mean, people have many different opinions about her, but I would be honored if she wanted to portray me. But it is the final impression that really defines the reader.

We decided to discuss Eat, Pray, Love over a Roman dinner, just like our heroin Elizabeth Gilbert and chose Cacio e Pepe in the East Village; a culinary indulgence that I would gladly go to hell for. To start, we shared a watermelon and spinach salad with goat cheese, almonds and a balsamic reduction. Erin and Joe shared a fig and prosciutto thing that looked tasty, but I don't eat meat. I finished with penne pasta in a crushed tomato sauce with pesto drizzle and fresh motzerella. My mouth is watering thinking about it and how I fit into my pants the next day, I'll never know. What I do know is that the meal and conversation were stimulating.

Joe started off with the opinion that the biography was well written, entertaining, and a little too self indulgent. Basically, he wished he had written it first.

Erin was still Erin. She both wanted to hurl the book from her throughout the read and discuss the inherent contradiction between praying to God and free will. I'm pretty sure she appreciated the way  Elizabeth Gilbert approached the subject... I was a little lost after a glass or two of wine.

I, on the other hand, laughed a lot in Eat, dog-eared and underlined like five hundred things in Pray, and found that Love just didn't cut it. From the title, you know that Elizabeth Gilbert is going to find love in Bali... It was not titled Eat, Pray, Balance (which is what she intended to find in Bali). And so, I made it through the book waiting for the great love. I wasn't sure how they were going to meet, but I was positive it would be really romantic. I was reading, she was flirting with a bunch of people and it was a little romantic. Then it was scientific and the romance died... That's harsh, but there was no great love affair that I had waited for. It was two people who talked it out and decided it could work. I mean, at least throw in a hot make out scene! Not just hint at the sex that was happening behind doors. I don't think Erin and Joe really cared... they were more interested in the philosophy and practice of religion. So after my tryst in love and romance I was sucked back into academia; mind stimulating conversation.

After dinner we were off to the movie... boring, boring, Javier Bardem! On screen was the romance that I wanted from the book! Thank God! And I think the missing link in the book was the interaction beween Elizabeth and Felipe. I got to see the way he looked at her when they met, and how he courted her. Needless to say, I got a little teary eyed, which surprised Joe because I rarely cry.

We finished the evening at Holey Cream in Hells Kitchen and went home. Was it cheesy to invade an Italian restaurant with our copy of Eat, Pray, Love which we read in order to see the movie? Were we "Those Americans" that we usually rebel against? Was it worth it in order to have an intellectual conversation over a decadent meal with great friends? Yes.

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Book Club

My friends in publishing-Penguin, the Wiley agency, Wiley, John & Sons- started this book club last year while I was away doing a show. While they have told me that I should just read the book and join, I have never truly felt invited; I was not added to their email list and even when I read the book, twice, they met while I was away. But, I'm not bitter, I read two great books because of it and it inspired me to start my own book club. So, while they are reading Franzen's The Corrections and Lethem's Motherless Brooklyn, I have decided that my club should read Eat, Pray, Love. 


This decision did not come easy. Working at a book store sometimes distorts your impression of a book, especially if it's been on Oprah. Consider these three situations:


There's his book it has three names...
You mean Eat, Pray, Love?
No! But if I'd seen the cover, I'd recognize it.
(I walk her over to a huge pile of Eat, Pray, Love)
Ya, that's it! Have you read it?
(Unspoken: Lady, if you are the type of person who reads this book, I'm never going to read it.)
...five minutes pass....
There was this book on Oprah...
Eat, Pray, Love?
Maybe, I don't remember.
(I walk them to the same huge pile)
Ya, that's it! Thank you!
(Unspoken: God, I hate this book.)
Do you also have A New Earth?
(Unspoken: A self-help bio wasn't enough, now you need some new age crap? I'm sure you could learn just as much by turning off Oprah and going outside.)
It's right over here.
Thank you so much!
...Two years later...
Boychik, do you have Pray, Eat, Love, and is it in paper back?
(Unspoken: Lady, I'm going to need you to turn the Jewish stereotypes. It's Eat, Pray, Love and it's been out for at least two years, I'd hope it's in paperback by now.)
You mean, Eat, Pray, Love? It's right over here. Do you want the movie cover?
That's meshugennah!
(I'm guessing that means no.)
The book's right over here.
Thank you!


I bite the bullet and we are reading Eat, Pray, Love. First impression, it reminds me of Oprah's audience which gives me a physical diversion to it. Second impression, I don't usually like biographies or self-help; even more nauseating. But, neither Joe or Erin, my book club, have read it and the movie is coming out. I don't have to be alone when I succumb to societal pressures and read it. I don't have to be ashamed to be reading it on the subway because these other two people, who normally wouldn't read this book, are out there. 


Erin buys her copy at an independent book shop where a sales clerk scoffs, looking down on Erin from over her hipster glasses. Erin immediately asks for the new AJ Jacobs and Snug Harbor to sandwich a book she feels shameful buying. My co-workers all poke a little fun, although one admits that she really loved it. And so, having read Love, Erin and I arrive at Pray. (I don't know where Joe is because he has not submitted his first impression). Erin has had moments of hate and yet, she can't put it down.  And, I'm actually enjoying it. That's an understatement. I'm laughing on the subway- drawing attention to myself, people are staring-with my pencil out and dog-earing important pages.  Forgive the pun ,but you could say, I am eating it up! I don't know if I relate to her entirely, but there are moments-orgasming over pizza, coming home alone in a new city with my two best friends loneliness and depression, and telling myself, "I deserve what I have," and, "I deserve down time to do nothing."


I no longer care that I am reading an Oprah book or reading it right before the movie comes out-I should have bought the movie cover-because I love it! I mean, if I'm not ashamed to rattle on about Twilight with some teenager... the third book, Eclipse, is totally the best because it is build around Jasper's back story and not Bella whining over which hot guy she can't have. I am an avid member of Team Jasper, who doesn't really have a following, but should! He's pretty kick ass... Why should I be ashamed of Eat, Pray, Love?


Eat, Pray, Love is going to happen and this blog is going to happen,
Robert